I know I’ve been gone for a while, my posting has been sporadic at best for months.  I’d like to apologize to you all for going MIA.  I have been so depressed the past few months I’ve stopped doing just about anything I don’t have to do.  The weird thing is that in many ways I’m happier than I have ever been, I have such an awesome family.  My husband is truly the man I’ve always dreamed of, he is my soul-mate and not just in the cliched way.  My kids are the greatest, all 3 are smart, well-behaved, with great personalities.  I really and truly could not ask for a better family.

Some of my depression comes from the fact that I still haven’t gotten over the death of my grandmother.  Before she got really sick I would talk to her every day.  When she went into the hospital and then the nursing home, I quit calling her.  It was so selfish, I just didn’t want to accept what was happening.  I was already in denial, I kept telling myself she get better and be home soon so I could wait and call her at home.  I was also angry at her because my mom said she had pretty much given up, she quit eating and refused to help herself.  And then on May 12 she died and I hadn’t spoken to her in weeks.  I feel so guilty and angry with myself for not calling, like I said I used to call her daily and now I can’t talk to her at all.  This is the first I’ve admitted this except to my husband the night of the funeral and I’m balling as I write this.  I’ve been vacillating between anger, denial and depression but I can’t seem to move on to acceptance although that’s where I pretend to be.  My mom and Papaw just came to visit and it was so hard seeing him without her, leading up to their arrival I had to keep reminding myself that Mimi wouldn’t be with them.

In addition to grieving for my grandmother,  I am truly scared of all the cuts being discussed in Congress.  I finally got on Disability in July meaning I went from the state health care to medicaid and medicaid doesn’t want to cover 2 of my most important meds, Advair and Cymbalta, both are dangerous to go off of suddenly. While we want to see if we can get them improved my dr gave me some samples but I’m having to ration them and only take 1 dose daily instead of the 2 I truly need because I have no idea when or if I’ll be able to get more.  Even though a single dose is better than none at all, I’m still having daily asthma attacks and my depression and pain are worse from not getting enough Cymbalta.  I’m also really worried about cuts to disability, food stamps and other services.  We barely get by as is.

So anyway, I’m now getting back to posting, bargain hunting and sweeps.  I think it’s time for me to get back to doing what I love, I think it will help me get out of this horrible funk I’ve been in for months.  Besides I’ve got to get back to couponing, my food stamps have been cut again so I really need all the savings I can get.  It’s not cheap to feed three growing boys.

So what can you expect from Hot Mom Tips?  Well, I will once again be posting online coupons, freebies, giveaways and great deals along with some personal and some sponsored posts and reviews.  My goal is to return to posting daily so check back often.  I appreciate you sticking with me through this most difficult time.