My mom sent this to me in an email. I found it cute and I thought I’d share. I don’t know the author nor who made the comments in between some of them as this is copied straight out of the email. Also, for a free weekly Bible study check out my mom’s website:
Visit www.alicelangehennig.com for past lessons of The Message and The Music Bible Study Series.
Reasons Not To Mess With Children
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to ‘honor’ thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Mommy, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, “There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,” or “That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes,” the class said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR
T he children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the
table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE . God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
It doesn’t matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too..
We had Julian’s birthday party yesterday at Chuck E Cheese’s. He turned 8 on Saturday. I thought he was getting a bit old for Chuck E Cheese but he had so much fun I’m glad we did it. He got a ton of tickets in that ticket blaster thing. He held his shirt up and caught a bunch of the big ones that exchange for 100 tickets. He ended up with 850 just from that. He ended up with some duplicate presents because several of us had just gone to Walmart and gotten some stuff on clearance. But it worked out because now he can play with his brothers with them. All the boys had a really great time.
The boys had a blast playing ball this year. Julian and Jordan were both in Coach Pitch and Jarrod continued in soccer. Julian did really great, he really loved playing catcher. Jarrod is thinking about playing baseball in the spring next year and soccer just in the fall. Jordan found baseball a little too slow moving and not enough contact. He’s really looking forward to football and he’s definitely built for it. He already tackles me and his brothers.
I am so proud of all three of them. They all did a really great job this year!